Christmas Feels Hard: Embracing Christ’s Gifts When You Feel Empty

When the Season Doesn’t Feel Merry

Christmas is often portrayed as a season of uninterrupted joy – carols celebrating peace on earth, decorations sparkling with promise, families gathered in warmth and laughter. The expectation is universal: this is when we should feel happy, grateful, and merry.

But for many, Christmas feels hard instead. The decorations mock rather than cheer. The carols amplify grief rather than comfort. If that describes your experience this year, you’re not alone, and you’re not failing at faith.

You may be grieving a loved one whose absence feels unbearable. Perhaps painful memories resurface every December. You might be spending Christmas alone while the world gathers together. Or maybe financial stress, broken relationships, chronic illness, or depression are making it nearly impossible to access the joy others seem to feel so easily.

Whatever the reason, I want you to know: it’s okay to not feel the Christmas spirit. You don’t have to pretend joy you don’t feel. But there’s a truth Paul understood that might sustain you – a reality that remains steady when feelings fail.

The Honest Truth of Christian Life

Paul doesn’t paint a picture of uninterrupted happiness. He acknowledges genuine hardships: persecution, poverty, sickness, sorrow, and suffering. Paul himself experienced beatings, imprisonments, shipwrecks, hunger, and exhaustion in his service to Christ (2 Corinthians 11:23-28).

But notice what he declares: “yet always rejoicing…as having nothing, and yet possessing all things.” Not “eventually things will get better” but right now – in the midst of sorrow – believers possess everything in Christ. This isn’t denial of pain. It’s declaration of a deeper reality that coexists with our struggles.

We can be genuinely sorrowful and genuinely possess everything in Christ simultaneously. Both truths are real at the same time. The sorrow isn’t minimized. The possession isn’t diminished. Understanding this paradox might be exactly what you need when grief and celebration seem impossibly intertwined.

What You Possess in Christ

Poor on earth, but exceedingly rich in heaven. If financial stress is making this Christmas difficult, remember: your treasure isn’t found in a bank account. “You know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though He was rich, yet for your sakes He became poor, that you through His poverty might become rich” (2 Corinthians 8:9). You are rich in mercy, grace, and eternal inheritance.

Hungry in body, but full in Spirit. Physical needs may be pressing this season—food insecurity, medical expenses, basic necessities that drain your resources. These struggles are real, but Jesus reminded us that our heavenly Father knows our needs (Matthew 6:25-32). He feeds the birds of the air, and you are worth far more than they are. Trust Him to provide for your physical needs even as He fills your deepest spiritual hunger. “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be filled” (Matthew 5:6). You have the Bread of Life, the Living Water, the very presence of God dwelling in you—and a Father who promises to care for all your needs.

Sick to the point of death, but with a renewed perfect body for eternity. Maybe this Christmas finds you or a loved one battling illness, facing mortality, dealing with chronic pain. The suffering is real. But one day you will receive a resurrection body—perfect, glorious, incorruptible, immortal (1 Corinthians 15:42-44). Your present suffering is temporary. Your future wholeness is eternal.

Without family right now, but part of God’s eternal family. Perhaps the hardest part is the empty chair at your table, the loved one who won’t be there, the family dysfunction, or the isolation of having no one to call. You are not alone. You have “a Father of the fatherless, a defender of widows” (Psalm 68:5), who promises, “I will not leave you orphans; I will come to you” (John 14:18). God Himself is your Father, and His love surpasses any earthly parent’s capacity to love.

You Don’t Need the “Christmas Spirit”

You may not feel the “Christmas spirit” this year, and that’s completely okay. Your emotional state doesn’t determine your spiritual reality.

But we can always give thanks for Jesus’ birth, sacrifice, and the unending gifts He gives every day. These realities don’t depend on your emotions. Jesus was still born in Bethlehem whether you feel merry or not. He still died for your sins whether you’re celebrating or grieving. He still rose from the dead whether you’re surrounded by family or alone. And He still offers you everything you truly need whether this Christmas feels wonderful or terrible.

The “Christmas spirit” – that warm, fuzzy feeling – is nice when it comes. But it’s not what Christmas is actually about. Christmas celebrates the incarnation: God becoming human to rescue us. Christmas remembers a Savior born to die so we could live. These truths stand firm whether you feel them emotionally or not. They’re rooted in historical reality, not emotional experience.

Permission to Be Honest

Be honest with yourself, with God, and with trusted people. Don’t pretend joy you don’t feel. Don’t exhaust yourself trying to appear merry when you’re actually mourning. God can handle your honesty. He already knows what you’re feeling.

The Psalms are filled with honest laments – raw prayers crying out in pain, confusion, and sorrow. God honors honest wrestling and genuine grief. You can bring your hard Christmas to God without apology. You can say, “This hurts. I’m struggling. I don’t feel the joy everyone else seems to have. I feel alone even in crowds.” He won’t reject you for your honesty.

And in that honesty, you might discover something unexpected: even when you can’t feel the Christmas spirit, you can know the reality of Christ’s gifts. Even when the season feels unbearably dark, you carry the Light of the World within you. Not because you’re strong enough to manufacture joy, but because Christ remains present whether you feel Him or not. Your circumstances don’t determine His faithfulness. Your emotions don’t dictate His promises.

The Gifts That Remain

This Christmas, focus not on what you lack but on what you possess. You may lack the perfect family gathering, but you possess adoption into God’s family. You may lack financial abundance, but you possess eternal riches. Your physical health may falter, but you possess the promise of resurrection. You may lack the Christmas spirit, but you possess the Holy Spirit Himself.

These aren’t consolation prizes. These are the actual gifts that matter, the real treasures, the lasting inheritances. Everything Christmas promises—love, belonging, peace, joy, hope—you genuinely have in Christ, whether this December feels wonderful or terrible.

So give yourself permission to feel what you feel. But also remind yourself of what you possess. Thank Jesus for His birth, even if you can’t celebrate with enthusiasm. Thank Him for His sacrifice, even if grief is your primary emotion, and thank Him for the gifts He gives every day—gifts that don’t require you to feel a certain way.

Christmas feels hard? That’s the truth of your experience, and it’s valid. But here’s another truth just as real: in Christ, you have everything. And that truth will carry you through this hard Christmas until the day when sorrow is finally swallowed up by joy and all things are made new.

You are sorrowful, yet always rejoicing. You have nothing, yet possess all things. And that’s enough. Christ Himself is enough.

Reflection Questions

1. What specifically makes this Christmas season hard for you? Can you name the loss, pain, or struggle rather than trying to push it away?
2. Of the contrasts Paul describes (poor yet rich, hungry yet full, sick yet healed, alone yet part of a family), which one speaks most to your current situation?
3. How does knowing you don’t have to feel the “Christmas spirit” to genuinely possess everything in Christ bring relief or freedom?
4. What’s one tangible way you can thank Jesus for His birth and sacrifice this season, even if you don’t feel traditionally “merry”?

Prayer

Take a moment to be completely honest with God about how hard this Christmas feels. Then slowly read through what you possess in Christ, letting each truth sink in whether you feel it emotionally or not.

If this devotional encouraged you, please feel free to share with a friend or explore more in my Christmas Devotional Collection.